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Tackling Sexual Issues With Your Teenager
Teenagers are undergoing the search phase of their lifetime, and they are looking for people to identify with, and things that would at the same time make them stand out. They may be hesitant to hear your generation's take on life, but deep down inside, they know that you mean well.
One of the more difficult issues to deal with has to do about sex; it's tough to talk about sex with someone who is now practically a world apart from you. But it is possible to do so, and you have to begin by changing your own perception on the issue.
See, for teenagers, nothing is absolute or set in stone, and it is best for them to learn about this sensitive topic from you rather than from other sources (which can be distorted, such as information gained from peers, or from sleazy sites on the internet).
Think back to the time when you yourself were a teenager; isn't it difficult to make a choice when you really don't know much about what you're dealing with? Drugs and sex were pretty much within easy reach if you only had the willpower to access them - you're teenager is going through the same dilemma. Treat your teenager with respect, and have a no-holds-barred sit-down; your son or daughter may even be grateful for your effort.
Once you convince your teenager that an open discussion on sex is the best way to go, avoid trying to be too intrusive; you've managed to lead your teen to this point, so cut the line some slack. Don't try to rush them into opening up, be available and ready when they are willing to do so.
Oftentimes, their opinions on sex may come from the usual sources, such as the adult videos which they may have watched at a friend's house, or on the internet. To be sure, there are adult videos which do observe audience discretion, but there are also those which put the human sexuality in an awkward perspective. Make sure that you are up to your teenager's questions when they come, and be able to deliver your answers in a discreet, loving way.
There is also a possibility that your teenage son or daughter is already sexually active, and is using the conversation as a means to get help, whether it involves pregnancy or a sexually-transmitted disease.
If you feel this vibe being telegraphed a mile away, remember to keep your cool - the fact that you were one of the few people he or she chose to speak with is a good sign. This means that you are trusted enough to be told the truth.
Use the discussion as leverage to inform your teenager about the benefits of safe sex practices, and even if they somehow missed the mark, deal with the issue in a loving way - they deserve as much.
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