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Causes of Trouble in a Monogamous Relationship

Are you in a stable long-term monogamous relationship? If so, it's possible that your sex life has become a little (or a lot!) bland and predictable. As a retired marital therapist for 17 years, I found that after counseling hundreds of couples, that the top four serious problems for monogamous couples are:

(1) Financial issues, (2) Problems with in-laws, and (3) Intimate sexual problems, and (4) cheating with other sexual partners. If these issues remain unresolved, the relationship has a 60% chance of failing.

Regarding sexual issues, I discovered that the major complaint among couples were that sex had become too boring. As a result, couples have less sex, and the sex they do have is unsatisfying. This, of course, can lead to infidelity. Most cheating isn't really about emotional feelings towards another person, but occurs because of sexual boredom.

Ask yourself: what can you do to keep sex interesting, fun, and satisfying for both of you? Whenever I mentioned the possibility of using sex toys, most couples cringed in embarrassment: "nice" people just don't do that! Wrong answer: a great many monogamous couples use a variety of sex toys to enhance their intimacy and sexual satisfaction.

If you're experiencing this sex toy phobia, perhaps it's time to broaden your horizons and try something new! There are sites that have a large selection of adult toys that can help rescue your relationship from a bad case of the "blah's!" Unloose your inhibitions and examine the toys that suit you and your partner. You have nothing to lose, and you don't have to be among the 60% whose relationship has failed.

Remember that even with or without toys, it continues to be communication that keeps many relationships functioning after so many years. Many couples have to work hard at keeping the communication lines open after some years, but by developing habits that can keep people doing activities together, such as jogging or seeing a movie, the lines of communication can stay open even when times are tough, even if they can be kept open at a bare minimum, this is often enough to develop a relationship back into a healthier status.

Even if morning greetings become cold, walking in the park together can keep the two people close, and get them to talk about their surroundings. Making an effort to do things together can really go a long way towards keeping things well between modern day couples, even as busy as everyone seems to be.

About the Author

Justina Mathews writes about issues that affect couples and today's woman concerning relationships and sexuality. She writes for her own blog, as well as special in depth articles that encompassing current issues related to happiness in relationships. She's also a staff writer for erotic chocolates.

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